Heart breaking~

Since Eddie had switched his working environment, his temper become worse compare to last time. He started to shout and scold at me whenever he feels stressed due to big pressure he's having in new place. Tonight I had a quarrel with him again. Crying is the only channel to allow me to release all sadness and pain. I feel weird that he will be the first ones who know I'm crying or upset about something. Are an appraisal to him or a punishment yet a bad news to me? I couldn't lie to him anything which I wish to cover without his notification. Personality test shows that I have high level of empathy but in fact I don't agree with this statement. IF I can understand Eddie's pressure,why I can't tolerant with it? Why I can’t understand Eddie’s temper IF I can cope with his stress? Our relationship has just started,yet we have many quarrel and misunderstanding between us in the past two months.

Sometimes, I question myself " Is him a right person to me ?" Does he worth for me to spend my entire life with him ? My answer is " I don't know!" I feel exhausted after quarrelling and crying because of him. I think only time will prove our love. Sleep will be the best medicine for me right now to heal all my wounds.

Good night!

Regards,

Yan

First post

This is my first post in 2008. I have decided to start blogging due to the boredom in University life. First of all, let me introduce myself. I'm a Malaysian who never being to other countries before. I'm in a relationship with a young man who enthusiastic towards his career,Eddie.

Currently I'm holding NST scholarship to continue my tertiary education. I'm glad that I made an appropriate decision to switch college in order to realize my dream. I'm surrounded with pride and appraisal from friends and family once I've successfully received the scholarship. However, I have to bear with difficult situations such as adapt to a totally new environment. Naturally, my stress level had been skyrocket and causes low self-esteem. One of the reasons is my English level is not up to university requirement. Poor command of English causes I do not dare to speak and write as flow as I could in every assignment.

On the other hand, I'm trying hard to improve my English as psychology student needs good written and spoken command in English. Sometimes,I feel guilty holding a scholarship to enter HELP university college. Clinical Psychologist is my ideal career as I'm interested to help people who are unable to cope with daily life due to many factors. Thus, English is essential to open up my ideal career or as a stepping stone towards my career.

Yet, mastering English isn't easy to me as I'm from a Chinese educated background. I have less chance expose to English environment compare to others. This is applicable to my Bahasa Malaysia too. I've gone through a hard time in primary to catch up my bahasa. Now, it happens to my English again. In fact, I knew that I will be no longer having language barriers once I've make my English up to standard. I need to keep motivated to master my English as I've no way back but keep moving towards my ideal career.

I'm here to please that everyone who knows me or a stranger to me,give me a chance to improve my English.


Regards,

Ice Ng